As a SmartyGirlLeader, you are an opinion leader.
|Photo Credit: Pinterest Cranberry Pie from Everybody Likes Sandwiches|
Have you ever wondered why the holidays bring out the craziness in most everyone? Sometimes, it’s because of un-examined relationships. Are turkey day festivities tense when Aunt So and So brings up her ex-husband What’s His Face? Some table conversations are awkward. Others are warning signs.
You are wise enough to keep your nose out of other people’s business.
However, are you prepared if a relative such as a niece or grandchild asks you for help?
Sometimes the holidays can reveal abusive relationship signs. There’s a reason why your loved one brings his/her sweetheart over for dinner.
It’s to ask what the family thinks of the partner. Three-hour long holiday events are good metrics to see how he/she interacts in groups. What are his/her beliefs in courtesy, manners, and values? Why? The setting is a wonderful pressure cooker. Imagine a catalyst. Holiday challenges bring out the true personalities of people just as a catalyst speeds up chemical reactions. Find out more about holiday stress related domestic violence in this article.
Fighting over the last Turkey Cranberry Monte Cristo may be playful but other verbal sparring may not be so friendly.
What are the jokes the guest tells? Are they off-color and coarse? Does the guest wait to be served or does he/she offer to help the hostess? How does he/she treat your older relatives? Does he/she listen as much as he/she talks?
|Photo Credit: Pinterest Turkey Sandwich by Meet the Dubiens|
SmartyGirls are aunts, sisters, moms and grandmothers. You don’t jump to conclusions but your innate sense of sisterhood and caring will give you cues. If you sense that a relative is being abused, listen to him/her during the holidays. Since October is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month, here are 3 Tips.
Tip #1: If you or your loved one would like a definition of what the law considers domestic violence, you can find a paragraph here.
Tip #2: Do you see/hear your loved one frequently belittled by his/her partner? You may want to refer him/her to this site.
Tip #3: Don’t whisper or create rumors. Not that a SmartyGirl would but be careful not to provoke conflicts where they do not exist. However, you may choose to intervene if the non-family guest during the holidays consistently blames or isolates your relative. You can read more about these signs of abusive men, here. You may choose wisely to be discreet rather than confront the couple in public.
|Photo Credit: Pinterest Gingerbread Tart with Cranberry Curd by Not Without the Salt|
This exercise may also be good for self-reflection. Have you ever made a New Year’s resolution to be kinder? Take a look at how you communicate with those who rub you the wrong way. This may be over something more than taking the last piece of Chocolate Cranberry Tart.
Are you still able to respond in a kind way without grinding your teeth at night? When the pressure of the holidays gets to you, lean on SmartyGirlLeadership for tips and tricks on being a leader to encourage the heart.