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Valentine’s Day Humor: How to Convince Me You’re Desperate

February 12, 2013 by smartygirl Leave a Comment

Photo Credit: Ridiculous Cover of Mountain Roses via Pinterest

Valentine’s Day is only 4 days away. I’ve asked a special guest to blog for us today. Please welcome our Guest Blogger Anti-SmartyFella. Ponder his insights. Maybe you won’t feel so bad being a selective and single SmartyGirl this Thursday.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been approached on the subject of how women can score
a hot guy like myself, but that’s really not the main issue women really have. Getting
together with a guy is only step one, keeping things fun and continuously dating is
the real challenge. Frankly speaking, there are a few qualities which can make you
distinguish yourself from all the other girls that guys like me have dated and they will keep us happy and keep us from “straying.”

Photo Credit: Hilarious Cover of Sea Treasure via Pinterest

First: Don’t ask to be exclusive after the third date.

We all like to keep our options open; just because we’ve gone out a few times doesn’t
mean that I should have to “put all my eggs in one basket.” Also, this isn’t a question that
can really be said “no” to, so you’re just asking us to lie to you and, after that, cheat on
you. If that time comes, just remember that it’s not our fault; you just asked for too much too soon.

Photo Credit: Silly Cover of Unknown Romance Novel via Pinterest

Second: Don’t try to make me choose between spending time with you or my friends.

We need our Bros. It’s pretty simple, we need our space and our friends are the ones to
help us vent or cool off. If we need to spend a week straight of drinking or relaxing and
playing video games with our friends, you need to respect that. If you ask us to stay and
spend the evening with you, we probably will but our level of resentment will increase.

Third: Don’t ask me where I’ve been every night.

If I wanted to date your mother, I would have asked her out. One of the most annoying
things you can do in a relationship is interrogate us. If we wanted you to know our
whereabouts at all times, we’d let you put a chip in our heads. When you find out that we
didn’t tell you that we were out with a female friend, it doesn’t mean we were cheating
on you, it just means we didn’t think you would take it very well and so decided not to

tell you about it.

Photo Credit: Goofy Cover of The Norse King’s Daughter via Pinterest

Fourth: Don’t ask me to state the obvious

Guys don’t like to say things like “I love you” in the middle of eating take out while
watching “The Walking Dead” on TV. If we’ve said it once, then we expect you to
understand that our feelings won’t change until we say otherwise. Questions like “Do you
still love me?” are annoying because you are asking for reassurance and a self-esteem
boost, but also because you’re interrupting whatever it was we were doing. That sort of
question brings the night to a screeching halt as the rest of the evening is likely going to
be spent assessing the relationship (as that can’t just be brushed off with a “sure, babe” without consequences).

Photo Credit: Dignified Cover of HeartMate via Pinterest

Fifth: Don’t start talking about “our future.”

This is the most important “Don’t” of all. The idea of settling down and kids is a scary
one to have early in a relationship. This should only be brought up after two to three
years of dating…maybe after moving in with each other. If brought up any earlier, you will automatically be labeled a clinger and your calls will go unanswered for a brief period of time.

Photo Credit: Super Cover of Stardust Dreams via Pinterest

Well, there you have it; these are the five cardinal sins of dating a hot guy. The key
message I am trying to get through to you ladies out there is that the main problem with
most relationships is too much communication. The more you feel the need to talk, the
more you push your man away. I hope this guide will have saved enough couples in time for Valentine’s Day!

Anti-SmartyFella is brought to you by SmartyFellas
Meet the SmartyFellas: The New Contributors to SmartyGirl for the male perspective on life, work and relationships.

Filed Under: dating tip advice, dating tips for women from men, dating tips for women over 40, dating women, humor, self help for women, successful business women, valentine's day gift

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