Some Sundays I work the door as security for operations at an edutainment place for kids.
First, I’ll share what I learned. Then, I’ll explain who taught it to me.
We were both sitting on the carpet, outside the double-doors of a live children’s edutainment production that morning.
Come on, now. SmartyFellas and SmartyGirls,you know what it feels like to sit on a butt-numbingly cold cement curb during recess because yard duty told you so. Right?
You remember scratching at a waffle imprint on the back of your legs, in spring, when you were made to sit in the school office awaiting your appointment with the school principal in a sagging, rust-hued, cheap upholstered arm chair. Today’s Smarties are yesterday’s honor roll misfits. Right?
My co-bouncer, David, said to Harry, “Tough morning, man?”
I slid down the wall of chaperone scanner monitors to sit on the floor facing Harry. My medical slippered foot stuck out and I tried to be nonchalant about it.
“Bike accident. I’ll get better. No biggie.” I replied. “Do you play soccer?” I asked to turn the attention away from how a 35-year-old woman breaks her toe while riding a Schwinn.
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The fart-maker expects others to pretend he/she did not just pass gass in public.
Harry, simply is too smart. I also knew this in second grade and as an adult I’ve chosen another reply.
I say, “It happens” if it is someone farts a hot one on my long jacket while swaying from the rungs on a crowded BART.
If it is me, I own it. I say, “Sorry, people. That was me” and I hang my head for the appropriate number of seconds.
Understand, when you want to make yourself less conspicuous you don’t bend your knees. Bending knees can make you appear bigger like a small hill rather than a part of the orange-and-blue square pattern on commercial grade carpet.
He resumed. “I like my DS. My favorite game to play on it is Black Ops. But I can’t play it all the time. It’s hard but also my brothers hide Black Ops from me.”
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“It’s not the shooting. It’s the walking. I walk into corners and I can’t turn around. I’m usually looking at the sky when I am murdered.”
“Oh my gosh, cool! Can you tell me more?”