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Comedian Vivek Mahbubani Gives Advice for Dating Indian Men

January 3, 2017 by Vivek Mahbubani Leave a Comment

Our Editor-in-Chief Renee Marchol has interviewed guests on the perspective of Asian masculinity in the entertainment industry. However, in her Amazon Audible Tinder Manual audiobook, she confesses that she has never been asked out by a man of Indian ancestry. So our staff invited Comedian Vivek Mahbubani to give his humorous take on race relations and family approval. His wit can be heard in English and in Cantonese Chinese as he performs in Hong Kong. The South China Morning Post featured a video titled “Discrimination is a punchline for Hong Kong-born comedian Vivek Mahbubani.

 

 

Just as those who identify New York as their home call themselves New Yorkers, Vivek refers to himself as a Hong Konger where he has lived among the Hong Kong Chinese as a minority.

His guest post “Why Indian Hong Konger Men Don’t Ask Renee for a Date” is below:

When most people think of super heroes or saviors, it’s very rare to find someone dreaming of being saved by an Indian person. Even if they did, chances are their super power would either be a combination of constant wobbling and dance moves or radioactive body hair that can hypnotize even the strongest of minds…

… until recently. With the explosion of Bollywood worldwide that has put the brown man on the map of not just being sexy but also being sensual, the value of the Indian man has gone up and so has their pickiness.

A generation ago, dating would often be limited to your own circle or what is available in your neighborhood or network. Traditions played a big part and family was the key. Interracial relationships were not the norm for the Indian man mostly because he’d have to deal with the extra questions from family and also have the challenge of explaining to his children why they’re not the same shade as their relatives.

But today, with the improvement of the Indian man’s confidence and image in the world thanks to a new wave of Indian talents, from Sundar Pichai becoming the CEO of Google to Aamir Khan winning over the hearts of everyone with his wise words and perfect abs in the movie 3 idiots, the typical Indian man now has new images of success they can replicate. Sure, we may not be Google’s CEO, but we feel like we play a big part in its functioning, after all, Google seems to know us really well with its constant suggestions and ads that match our tastes, and fine, we don’t have Aamir Khan’s abs, but we’re surrounded by 2 other idiots at all times, so we’re halfway there. Combine that with the new wave of International love stories we’re surrounded by and you’ve got yourself a very picky person.

But no matter how much the world gives the Indian man these ideas of anything is possible, at the end of the day, there’s still the universal factor that the Indian man has to deal with – his family.

Ultimately, if you’re able to be the girl-next-door but also have that wild-side while still making sure family comes first without compromising the idea that you need to take good care of the guy, then you stand a good chance of getting along just fine. The problem isn’t in your doing all those things, it’s in you being able to send that message to the guy so he realizes you’re someone that fits the bill and asks you out.

Having said all that, why is it that Indian Hong Konger men aren’t asking Editor-in-chief Renee for a date? I suppose the first thing would be for Renee to think about what she wants in a man. Not all Indian Hong Konger men are created equal. Some place beauty over brains, others place family over fun while others might have wacky over well-being. If Renee is looking for the man that can go on the wild side with her every now and then but still wants to make sure they’re both in bed by 11pm, you’ll probably want to look at the self-made Indian man who dwells amongst big social events and conferences where business is the primary item on the agenda. After all, they made their own business through lots of trial-and-error and chances are they’ll take that mentality to every aspect of their life, even in what makes their partner happy.

Alternatively, looking for the Indian man because brown and hairy fascinate Renee, well then you’ll probably want someone who embraces the Indian identity. There are lots of Indian parties where the music is blasting Bhangra beats and the men are dancing. This is your golden opportunity to let these guys know that you know how to party the way they do. Before you know it, you’ll be deep in a conversation about life after the party winds down and they’ll be ready to go on a formal date with you the next time you speak on the phone.

Ultimately, the best way to get an Indian man to ask you out is the same as getting him to invest his money into prime real estate – location, location, location. Be at the right places frequently and just like Google’s ads that constantly hound you in every corner of your screen with what it thinks is right for you, the Indian man will eventually notice you everywhere and figure part of the special club and ask you out. If not, at least you can enjoy the fun of dancing around at least 3 idiots at all times when the Bhangra beat drops.

 

 

Comedian Vivek Mahbubani

Photo Credit: Vivek Mahbubani Stand Up Comedian

Vivek Mahbubani is best known as Hong Kong’s top English and Cantonese stand-up comedian. Being bi-lingual allows him to both laugh and get offended in multiple languages. For more of his entertainment, visit http://funnyvivek.com

5 Secrets of Being a Great Gamer Spouse: Guest Post by Newlywed SmartyFella Topher Ellis & SmartyGirl Bethany

December 17, 2014 by Topher Ellis Leave a Comment

5 Secrets of Being a Great Gamer Spouse

Hello and greetings from me, Topher, and my wife and Bethany! It’s our pleasure to once again be guest bloggers for SGL. You might remember our last guest blog, 5 Secrets of Being a Great Gamer Boyfriend: A Guest Blog Post by SmartyFella & His SmartyGirlfriend. Since then a lot has happened and believe it or not, we tied the knot! So you might be thinking do things change now that you’re married? Do the same rules and secrets still apply? Well yes! The same secrets still apply but this time we’re going to share how they apply to being married. As your relationship grows and evolves, so does how you approach and handle things. Let’s get the ball rolling!

Secret #1

 

Screen Shot 2014-12-17 at 7.10.01 AM

Zelda-themed birthday cake by Topher & Bethany Ellis

Photo: Bethany made Topher a Zelda Theme Birthday Cake.

A little goes such a long way. What does this mean exactly and no, I’m not talking about Charmin Toilet paper where less is more. I’m talking about the little things we think that aren’t a big deal. Now as a gamer, I completely know what it means to be caught up in a part of a game where you’re glued to the screen or where you’re just having so much fun you’ll pretty much ask for five more minutes whether your wife is calling you for dinner or the house is burning down (let’s hope not!). And for all you out there that play games that don’t have a pause button or pause function (e.g. League of Legends, World of Warcraft, some kind of online rank game, etc.), I know how tough it is to pull away from those games. So what does this have to do with the little things going such a long way? Instead of asking for those five minutes to finish your game or to get to a more convenient point to stop for a bit, stopping right then and there says so much more to your wife. It’s not always the task that they want done but the fact that you put something down that they know you love to do something for them. This says so much more. Yeah you might die in the game, you might lose some points or have to start the level over but those things are tiny compared to impressing your wife and showing her she is more important than winning. But once she knows that she comes first, she’ll be right there doing whatever she can to help you win and get the high score.

Secret #2

 

Pokemon Cosplay Costume ideas

Topher Cosplay Costume as Pokemon Meme

Photo: Topher Cosplay Costume as a Pokemon Meme

Gaming can be very complicated. There are so many different genres and sub-genres of games that to someone who isn’t familiar with gaming could be completely lost. Bethany isn’t clueless when it comes to gaming and can tell anyone that my favorite games series are The Legend of Zelda and Final Fantasy but that’s probably as far as it goes and that means so much to me. I love that she tries to be interested every once in a while and will ask me questions here and there but one thing you should never do is make it a requirement that they know as much as you do about what you love. I’ll never know clothes, make-up and jewelry like she does and I for one hope she never expects me to know but I can time to time figure out what she likes and get her something based off of that. Don’t force your hobby on her and expect her to change.

Secret #3

 

Gamer Spouse Dating

Gamer Spouse Date Tophany

Photo: Bethany and Topher

Gaming posters have got to go. Now this might not apply to everyone but if you’re a hardcore gamer like me who loves displaying posters of all my favorite games and you’re wife… well… isn’t, you’ll know where I’m coming from.  It was cool having all your posters up in your college dorm or your own place but now that you’re married, some things have got to change and sacrifices need to be made. Some things mean more to Bethany than they do me and one of those things is how the house if decorated. Long story short, I get the hang up posters in the guest/game room and she gets the rest of the house. Now you might be thinking that I got the bum deal in all this but honestly I didn’t. She gets to be happy and decorate the entire house as she likes and I get one room? That sounds awesome to me. She’s happy and I’m happy that I only have to decorate one room and that she’s happy. That’s a win-win situation in my book. Remember fellas, you want to make your wife happy. You love games but you love her more.

Secret #4

 

Gaming Dating Marriage Tips

Sim Topher Selects Bethany Late Night Gaming

Photo: Late night Gaming but Bethany planned it

Late night gaming cannot happen every night. Like a lot of you out there, I work 40+ hours a week and she does too. And this one took me quite a bit of time getting used to. Before I ever got married, what I did at night was up to me and up to me only. If I wanted to stay up all night catching up on that giant list of games I have yet to beat than I was free to do so. I’m sorry to inform you fellas, once you’re married, that do as I please at night thing is gone. Now I’m not saying she owns you and gets to tell you what to do, I’m saying you need to think of her now. So this is how I worked this out with Bethany and it works out great! We try to plan out the week ahead of time. Not to the extreme where every minute of the day is scheduled but mostly just big things that are going on like work schedules, date night and guys, you’ll like this one, nights you’d like to stay up playing video games. If you plan it ahead of time, she won’t feel neglected and you won’t feel bad that she’s sad that she wanted to cuddle and you wanted to beat that part of the game you were thinking about all day at work. Some women just like to know that you’re next to them at night and they fall asleep easier this way. Don’t feel like she’s just trying to give you a bedtime. Plan those nights so it’s no surprise but also plan to go to bed when she does.

Secret #5

 

Photo: Topher and Bethany being ourselves

This one might sound familiar but it’s probably the most important. BE YOURSELF! She chose you. Bethany once said she was never going to date or end up with a gamer and years later she just happened to meet and marry me. Gaming is important to me but I’d give it up in a second for her and never look back. You know they’re the one when you can give up your hobbies and passions for her. But back on topic, be you. Be the nerd gamer that rants for ten minutes during the car ride about this awesome play you made in your game and she has no idea what you’re talking about. Be the passionate and enthusiastic gamer that lights up when you learn your favorite series are releasing a new title within the next two years. It those things that your wife loves to see. It’s those things that make her want to endure going in to a game store to find out what that game is that you want so she can personally surprise you with it. Guys, it’s also the same thing for you when you see her light up about her favorite things.

Photo: Bethany & Topher Ellis Spouse Team

Photo: Bethany & Topher Ellis Spouse Team

Whether you’re a gamer guy, girl, or you’re passionate about anything. These rules apply. Taking the time to know, love and care for each other is what will get you from one day to the next. We’re not the same person we were ten years ago, a year ago, a week ago or even yesterday. We are constantly changing and will be changing even ten years from now. You learn to love that special someone over and over again every single day. And like they told me on our wedding day, for better or for worse, in sickness or in health, till death do us part, I will love her. I hope you enjoyed this! Take care and Happy Holidays!

SmartyFella Humor: 3 Things Men Wish Women Knew about Dating a Soccer Player

May 30, 2013 by Erica Tyler Leave a Comment

Sarah Silverman describes a Perfect Night in a music video she and Will.i.am created for YouTube Comedy Week. Watching Netflix with your dog is a perfectly understandable way to spend an evening but not every evening so here’s some dating advice from SmartyFella Ryan Kozonis. 

Photo Credit: Soccer Celebrity David Beckham and Wife Posh Spice via Pinterest


3 Tips for Women Dating or Wanting to Date a SmartyFella Soccer Player:

Rvp
Photo Credit: Mashable.com Twitter Dutch Soccer Star Robin Van Persie

1)      Know the difference between Club versus National teams

a.      Club teams anyone can play on no matter their country of origin (think NFL or NBA)

b.      National teams can only have players who are citizens of the country they are playing for (think Olympics)

Photo Credit: Free Football TV Lionell Messi Smarty Fella Ryan Kozonis calls him a class act


2)      Know your team


a.      Know the players strengths and weaknesses on both your team and your opponents if you are playing the sport

b.      If you are dating someone who likes your rival team,  that is not a problem as competition between couples can be a fun addition to the relationship (as long as it’s healthy and respectful)

3)      Don’t only talk about sports together

Photo Credit: Gamer SmartyGirl Amanda “Mandi” Ruhlman Lonas and Son
Photo Credit: Infographic Gamer Women via Pinterest

a.      It’s possible for to a SmartyFella to bond with a SmartyGirl over their shared love of football (though they like rival teams); the issue with this is that if they only did football related activities and didn’t seek out other things in common-eventually the relationship will end. 

Grid2bacmono
Photo Credit: Mashable.com The Bac Mono Grid 2 The World’s Most Expensive Video Game

Afterall, don’t SmartyFellas pay attention to the hobbies of SmartyGirls. You bet. Visit again in June for SmartyGirEntertainment’s interview “5 Ways That Being a Gamer Prepared Me to Be a Better Mom” with young Gamer Mom Amanda “MandiRuhlman Lonas and how she and her husband bond with their new baby. 
Photo Credit: Gamer Mom Amanda “Mandi” Ruhlman Lonas’s Hubby, Baby and Pet


Make sure that though you initially bond over one mutual activity, don’t let that be the only thing you bond over.  Talk about other things as well.

How strong is a man’s love for Futbol? Crazy Chicks (Chicas Locas) offers this scenario. Hear it in Spanish. Read the subtitles in English. Watch it to laugh your ass off.

Who is Ryan? He was the SmartyFella behind Valentine’s Day humor article Convince Me You’re Desperate. Visit again SmartyGirlEntertainment again on Friday for Associate Editor Erica Tyler’s interview with Ryan, our resident soccer expert and all ’round SmartyFella.


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