Preview: Love and Sex Series including Asexuality Perspectives

November 6, 2015 by Renee Marchol Leave a Comment

Here is an excerpt from the upcoming Thanksgiving week educational report:

Our panel includes Cierra Mercier of Ditching Adulthood who self-identifies as asexual

Ditching Adulthood blogger Cierra Mercier

Photo Credit: Cierra Mercier Ditching Adulthood

Most people, once being told that I’m asexual, doubt and dismiss me. They wonder what happened in my life that made me this way. They’ll tell me to get it checked out because something’s clearly wrong. I’ve even been told by guys interested in me that I just needed someone to give it to me right, in order to fix me.

From disgusting “advice” like that, to telling me—condescendingly, I might add—that I’ll want it when I meet the right one… It’s disheartening and frustrating. Aside from the fact that I was in an almost four-year relationship without that level of intimacy (he was eager to have sex once we were married, and I just played along because I didn’t know about the asexual realm then), you just know. There doesn’t need to be a test or experience.

To read more on our Love & Sex series, visit our blog again mid November for SmartyFellas and SmartyGirls who are willing to open up to help dispel myths about Love & Sex in our diverse community.

Follow Cierra Mercier on Twitter @ditchadulthood

Photo Credit: Cierra Mercier Ditching Adulthood logo

We are releasing our Love & Sex series just in time for family holiday get-togethers to show support, friendship and solidarity with those who are served prying questions about private life along with ladle-full of gluten-free vegetarian turkey stuffing. We will be sitting in those dining room chairs and in that hot seat right alongside you.

vegan thanksgiving food recipes turkey vegetables

Photo Credit: PrincessPinkyGirl.com Turkey Veggie Party Tray

Healthy Dating: A Love & Sex Series Announcement

September 18, 2015 by Renee Marchol Leave a Comment

Announcement: Guest Blog Launch

Healthy Dating: Love & Sex Smartygirlleadership original content

The staff of SmartyGirlLeadership Media is proud to launch a love and sex relationship tutorial series which will be launched on Smartygirlleadership.com this fall. Special thanks to Emily Lindin and Michael Zack for helping to shape this press release.

The preparation has taken two years of hands-on research, apprenticeships with experts, and field studies that we can’t wait to tell you about.

For these groundbreaking studies of modern relationships we would like to thank NuReality Productions of Berkeley California for inviting our Editor-in-Chief Renee Marchol to delve into a trove of sexologist interviews for what may become previously taboo subjects.

Highlights include presenting valuable consumer information and opposing viewpoints on the following topics

Needed medical insurance coverage for sexual aids for wounded vets returning with wounds that affect their love life
Reducing social stigma and increasing accessibility to sexual education and inclusion of adults living with disabilities.
reduce and prevent intimate partner violence for all by utilizing empathy training, sex therapy, anger management and other wellness resources

We all know that Love and Sex philosophies can clash at the office, on the soccer field, in the lab or during commute home from work. Our hope is to provide an entertaining and useful tutorial debuting October 2015 only on smartygirl leadering exploring how we can increased healthy relationships with the people we meet, including platonic relationships between polyamorous and asexual individuals, and even neighbors.

Our expert, opinionated and rational bloggers and contributors are tapped for their diversity of views across overlapping political and personal circles.

This has been our mission and vision since the pilot blog SmartyGirlHome before our SmartyFella allies joined our crew. Our neighborhood is neighborhood Earth, for now. Our dream for this educational and entertaining resource is progress working more efficiently through our lifetime of bucket list items. For the dreamers, thinkers, doers and visionary lovers, we already can anticipate through space exploration new solutions to combat scarcity here at home, and home for humans that might include expand beyond the third rock from the sun.

Citizen Journalism Big Idea Origin

Our leadership, Editor-in-Chief Renee Marchol is the descendent of Christian C.S. Cheng. He served time in a political labor camp for his views of international cooperation and futurism. His skill set? Arts plus Technology. A surgeon, music conductor and man of faith he was a triple threat to those seeking to divide, deny and oppress. He also had an unforgettable sense of humor as Renee’s “Mommy” recounted even into her last two years of fond Daddy & Daughter stories before Renee’s first hero died in 2013. Renee’s “Mommy” was 85-years-old when she passed. Paramedics that include a proud Marine reported that Renee’s “Mommy” ’til the end winked and gave a smile to ambulance transport to her memory care home and dialysis center until her final day.

This is a salute to lives well lived by SmartyFellas and SmartyGirls past, present and future. Special Thanks to Documentary Filmmaker Shanice Johnson for her interview with Renee Marchol that gave Renee courage to reveal that she is descended from men and women of conviction, who frankly have served time.

Additional thanks to Women in Tech Artists Regina Larre Campuzano and Amanda Wallace for encouraging Renee to share a small piece of her personal reasons for content scheduling for four years and counting for equipping others to close the wage gap, apply best practices from business school and leadership theory.

*Please Note: Kindly send comments to staff@smartygirlleadership attn: Letters to the Editor for an interactive community who will help us learn and correct our oversights. We anticipate we will be receiving an in-service training to understand more about transsexual, asexual, pansexual and other identities that are included in our readership and friendship.

We anticipate this to be a controversial series and welcome our community to speak with each other and about one another with friendship and respect.

Sincerely,

Editors Erica Tyler & Renee Marchol

5 Secrets of Being a Great Gamer Spouse: Guest Post by Newlywed SmartyFella Topher Ellis & SmartyGirl Bethany

December 17, 2014 by Topher Ellis Leave a Comment

5 Secrets of Being a Great Gamer Spouse

Hello and greetings from me, Topher, and my wife and Bethany! It’s our pleasure to once again be guest bloggers for SGL. You might remember our last guest blog, 5 Secrets of Being a Great Gamer Boyfriend: A Guest Blog Post by SmartyFella & His SmartyGirlfriend. Since then a lot has happened and believe it or not, we tied the knot! So you might be thinking do things change now that you’re married? Do the same rules and secrets still apply? Well yes! The same secrets still apply but this time we’re going to share how they apply to being married. As your relationship grows and evolves, so does how you approach and handle things. Let’s get the ball rolling!

Secret #1

Zelda-themed birthday cake by Topher & Bethany Ellis

Photo: Bethany made Topher a Zelda Theme Birthday Cake.

A little goes such a long way. What does this mean exactly and no, I’m not talking about Charmin Toilet paper where less is more. I’m talking about the little things we think that aren’t a big deal. Now as a gamer, I completely know what it means to be caught up in a part of a game where you’re glued to the screen or where you’re just having so much fun you’ll pretty much ask for five more minutes whether your wife is calling you for dinner or the house is burning down (let’s hope not!). And for all you out there that play games that don’t have a pause button or pause function (e.g. League of Legends, World of Warcraft, some kind of online rank game, etc.), I know how tough it is to pull away from those games. So what does this have to do with the little things going such a long way? Instead of asking for those five minutes to finish your game or to get to a more convenient point to stop for a bit, stopping right then and there says so much more to your wife. It’s not always the task that they want done but the fact that you put something down that they know you love to do something for them. This says so much more. Yeah you might die in the game, you might lose some points or have to start the level over but those things are tiny compared to impressing your wife and showing her she is more important than winning. But once she knows that she comes first, she’ll be right there doing whatever she can to help you win and get the high score.

Secret #2

Topher Cosplay Costume as Pokemon Meme

Photo: Topher Cosplay Costume as a Pokemon Meme

Gaming can be very complicated. There are so many different genres and sub-genres of games that to someone who isn’t familiar with gaming could be completely lost. Bethany isn’t clueless when it comes to gaming and can tell anyone that my favorite games series are The Legend of Zelda and Final Fantasy but that’s probably as far as it goes and that means so much to me. I love that she tries to be interested every once in a while and will ask me questions here and there but one thing you should never do is make it a requirement that they know as much as you do about what you love. I’ll never know clothes, make-up and jewelry like she does and I for one hope she never expects me to know but I can time to time figure out what she likes and get her something based off of that. Don’t force your hobby on her and expect her to change.

Secret #3

Gamer Spouse Date Tophany

Photo: Bethany and Topher

Gaming posters have got to go. Now this might not apply to everyone but if you’re a hardcore gamer like me who loves displaying posters of all my favorite games and you’re wife… well… isn’t, you’ll know where I’m coming from. It was cool having all your posters up in your college dorm or your own place but now that you’re married, some things have got to change and sacrifices need to be made. Some things mean more to Bethany than they do me and one of those things is how the house if decorated. Long story short, I get the hang up posters in the guest/game room and she gets the rest of the house. Now you might be thinking that I got the bum deal in all this but honestly I didn’t. She gets to be happy and decorate the entire house as she likes and I get one room? That sounds awesome to me. She’s happy and I’m happy that I only have to decorate one room and that she’s happy. That’s a win-win situation in my book. Remember fellas, you want to make your wife happy. You love games but you love her more.

Secret #4

Sim Topher Selects Bethany Late Night Gaming

Photo: Late night Gaming but Bethany planned it

Late night gaming cannot happen every night. Like a lot of you out there, I work 40+ hours a week and she does too. And this one took me quite a bit of time getting used to. Before I ever got married, what I did at night was up to me and up to me only. If I wanted to stay up all night catching up on that giant list of games I have yet to beat than I was free to do so. I’m sorry to inform you fellas, once you’re married, that do as I please at night thing is gone. Now I’m not saying she owns you and gets to tell you what to do, I’m saying you need to think of her now. So this is how I worked this out with Bethany and it works out great! We try to plan out the week ahead of time. Not to the extreme where every minute of the day is scheduled but mostly just big things that are going on like work schedules, date night and guys, you’ll like this one, nights you’d like to stay up playing video games. If you plan it ahead of time, she won’t feel neglected and you won’t feel bad that she’s sad that she wanted to cuddle and you wanted to beat that part of the game you were thinking about all day at work. Some women just like to know that you’re next to them at night and they fall asleep easier this way. Don’t feel like she’s just trying to give you a bedtime. Plan those nights so it’s no surprise but also plan to go to bed when she does.

Secret #5

Photo: Topher and Bethany being ourselves

This one might sound familiar but it’s probably the most important. BE YOURSELF! She chose you. Bethany once said she was never going to date or end up with a gamer and years later she just happened to meet and marry me. Gaming is important to me but I’d give it up in a second for her and never look back. You know they’re the one when you can give up your hobbies and passions for her. But back on topic, be you. Be the nerd gamer that rants for ten minutes during the car ride about this awesome play you made in your game and she has no idea what you’re talking about. Be the passionate and enthusiastic gamer that lights up when you learn your favorite series are releasing a new title within the next two years. It those things that your wife loves to see. It’s those things that make her want to endure going in to a game store to find out what that game is that you want so she can personally surprise you with it. Guys, it’s also the same thing for you when you see her light up about her favorite things.

Photo: Bethany & Topher Ellis Spouse Team

Whether you’re a gamer guy, girl, or you’re passionate about anything. These rules apply. Taking the time to know, love and care for each other is what will get you from one day to the next. We’re not the same person we were ten years ago, a year ago, a week ago or even yesterday. We are constantly changing and will be changing even ten years from now. You learn to love that special someone over and over again every single day. And like they told me on our wedding day, for better or for worse, in sickness or in health, till death do us part, I will love her. I hope you enjoyed this! Take care and Happy Holidays!

Meet Black Girls Code SmartyGirls and SmartyFellas December 2014: Bay Area Interview (Video)

December 15, 2014 by Renee Marchol Leave a Comment

Black Girls Code SmartyFellas and SmartyGirls Interview: Bacon, Curtz, Williams, and Evearitt from Renee Marchol on Vimeo.

Robotics Event Transcript

My name is Joe Bacon. I’m at the Black Girls Code at UC Berkeley. It is Saturday, December 13, 2014.

I’m Joyce Curtz and I’m here at the Black Girls Code event. This event is working with Lego. Every child, even adults, still play today with Lego. So I think it’s a very good kind of toy if you want to make girls familiar with the technical aspect of Lego. And by doing that they get more familiar with the tech industry.

By using Lego, having that as an introduction to technology and the technical industry, kids can get familiar by just playing with the toy. Playing with Lego, building something, creating something, and having something created at the end by putting little pieces together. Then the technical aspect of it can be programming something on the computer and then putting that together with the toy itself. Then the toy can do things. It can make noises, it can work, or it can move. Children like that.

They like creating that does something. They can say, “I did that! I did that!” In that way they play. What you’re doing is you getting them introduced to the technical industry because this is all part of the tech of today.

My name is Matt Evearitt and I’m the Director of Technology at Mercy High School in San Francisco. It’s an all-girls high school and what were trying to do is start off with a small program with about nine girls to learn about technology and to learn about media production as well to create equity in the industry. And that’s one of our main goals. So our girls are going to start learning off with block coding with programs like Scratch, and then they’re going to learn about Media Production and Podcasting later on. And eventually we’ll be running our own independent Media Production Club through the school.

My name is Jennifer Williams. I’m here at Black Girls Code at the Robotics Event on the campus of UC Berkeley. I decided to volunteer at the event as I can lend a hand today. My daughter is seven years old and when we moved back to the Bay Area I was looking for an organization to get her involved in and it was mentioned about Black Girls Code. I never really thought about sending her or exposing her to technical experiences and now that I think back on my experiences when it comes to S.T.E.M. science and math. In 5th grade I attended an event in San Francisco called Broadening Your Horizon in Science and Math where I was exposed to the sciences, mathematics and things of that nature. So it’s really interesting to see that that gap still exists between young girls and young boys that we’re still trying to fill that S.T.E.M. gap. So I think that the organization of this event as a great segue way to get young ladies and parents thinking about other career opportunities or other points of interest. Here we are in 2014 and there’s still such a huge disparity in the field of science and mathematics so I’m so happy to be here. I believe she’s having a super awesome time. She’s smiling a lot. She’s nodding a lot. She doesn’t want me to interrupt her throughout the day so I’m trying not to be Mommy and just trying to be a super awesome volunteer.