social justice Archives - Smarty Girl Leadership

Photo Credit: Courtney Swan

” A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend.” -Author Unknown

Growing up living in my Grammie’s house, I understood this quote on a deeper level than most. My grandma was and is to this day a parent, a teacher, a best friend. My role model, my faith mentor, my biggest fan — the list is never-ending.

We often look to the famous- the rock stars, the innovators, the world changers- as our sources of influence. Barack Obama, Kim Kardashian, and Jimmy Fallon are included on Time’s list of 2015’s most influential people on the internet. But how often do we turn away from the television (or more realistically, our laptop and phone screens) and look to the people around us?

My Grammie is without one single doubt the largest influencer in my life. Without her mentorship over my life from my childhood, I promise you I would not be the woman I am today.

I could honestly write about every individual way she has helped mould me into the identity I proudly and joyfully embrace today, but I’m going to attempt to put it all into a jam-packed nutshell. If I had to use one word to epitomize my Grammie, it would be compassionate. This woman LOVES people with reckless abandon. I was raised to believe that every single person, regardless of age, gender, race, sexuality, religion, skin colour, social status, or any other factor, deserves equal opportunity and treatment by all. Period. No if’s, and’s, or but’s.

She taught me that the homeless are people too and are worthy of the same level of dignity that I’m entitled to. She taught me that immigrants come to North America to develop healthy and prosperous lives, just like you and I, and deserve the same opportunities that I have as a Canadian-born, young, white female. She taught me not to judge people on the colour of their skin but on the content of their character.

My grandma continuously shows me firsthand what it looks like to love people the way Christ loves us, and I swear she doesn’t even realize it most of the time. For her it’s not a habit, it’s a characteristic. It’s not a task, it’s an inherent part of who she is. And I can’t adequately express how grateful I am for being raised under her influence and guidance.

Now, a bit more about me— if I had to put a label on myself, I like to think I’d be a human rights activist. Like my grandmother taught me, I believe in the radical notion that every human being is entitled to equal rights and freedoms. I believe that my greatest purpose in life is to help work towards developing a world where each individual is granted the inherent rights and freedoms permitted to them just by virtue of being human.

I don’t believe in coincidence, and I certainly don’t believe that these passions of mine just randomly found a way into the deepest parts of my heart. I don’t believe that it was by chance that I’ve come to love people I will never even meet with every fibre of my being.

I can confidently say that it is largely thanks to my Grammie’s influence that I am the person I am today, and that I have chosen to dedicate my life to the causes I have. I can also proudly say that I would not change a darn thing.

Every single one of us is in the process of creating our legacies. Each day, you write the story that future generations will tell about you. If I can encourage you at all with this post, let me encourage you to leave the kind of legacy that my grandmother has left with me. And I’m not saying that you should make everyone around you want to be a human rights activist. All I’m asking is that you be intentional about the impact you’re leaving on those around you every single day. Think about the me’s around you who look to you the way I look to her. You’re leaving an impact on them whether you choose to or not, so please, I implore you, make it a powerful one.

Courtney Swan is a Canadian writer with a passion for people who specializes in race relations and human rights. Her website? courtneyswan.ca Find her on Twitter at @courtney__swan

Emily Lindin is the founder of The Unslut Project and a Harvard graduate. Like many, she is the survivor and overcomer of sexual bullying. When she was 14-years-old she was sexually curious and experimented sexually with a classmate. Unfortunately gossip spread in her school and she was the object of name-calling. Her classmates, male and female, harassed her even telling her to kill herself. One incident included a school field trip where a boy grabbed her hand in a darkened theater and forced her to touch his privates. Emily did not receive the protection of her other classmates because the rationale was that she was a slut and did not have the right to refuse or complain.

Editor-in-Chief Renee Marchol heard of SmartyGirl Emily Lindin’s anti-sexual bullying campaign while working alongside NuReality Productions, an indie documentary company in Berkeley. The all male crew had respectful things to say about The Unslut Project so our blog readers wanted to know more about this social justice campaign. Our Editor-in-Chief has witnessed first-hand that #HeforShe allies are everywhere. Thank you, SmartyFellas!

Note: It is the strongly-held personal belief of our Editor-in-Chief Renee Marchol that individuals have sexual human rights including the “right not to be exposed to sexual material or behavior” and prior consensual acts do not mean “yes” to unwanted sex. Our Editor-in-Chief traveled from Seattle to Berkeley in order to complete an academic internship, in November, on the definition of consent through NuReality Productions’ documents.

Before Thanksgiving, Ted Talker Emily Lindin was willing to take our Editor Renee Marchol’s phone call for an interview and share the insights that follow.

Here are 5 Tips for Readers as Bystanders of Sexual Bullying

1. Listen without necessarily giving advice. Sometimes advice is warranted, but the point is that if you don’t know what advice to give, that’s okay – you can still be helpful just by listening.

2. Proximity is powerful. Sitting closely can be such a simple but powerfully affirming gesture. Emily shares that a then-acquintance, a female classmate on that same field trip, sat next to her to say, “I heard the rumors, but I think you are cool. Let’s hang out sometime.” Years later Emily says that acquaintance-turned-friend invited her to be one of her bridesmaids. The thought-starter? Support the bullied with your own reputation by showing: you are proud to have him/her for a friend publicly.

3. Allow for the possibility that the target of sexual bullying may take time to trust you. Someone who is sexually bullied has been set up for traps that lead to more mocking by those who pretend to be sympathetic only to add more torment. In other words, he/she may doubt your motives for showing solidarity (at first).

4.Choose in-person disclosure. If you are the target of sexual bullying at school or at work, consider finding allies offline. Why offline? On the phone or messaging, the hearer has the opportunity to be rude or dismissive with little consequence. Emily says, “In person, it’s that much harder for that person to respond rudely.” In addition, it reduces the opportunity for victim-shaming such as unauthorized forwards and gossipy shares.

5. Be mindful of timing for a show of solidarity or ally recruitment. Keep in mind that people are usually uncomfortable with sex as a topic. Victim-blaming still exists. You can’t control people’s responses, but you can take all possible steps to assure confidentiality.

Photo Credit: Emily Lindin TedxYouth@Toronto The Unslut Project

Follow @UnSlutProject on Twitter for more about Emily Lindin’s advocacy. Emily shares that she loves breakfast food, especially blueberry pancakes. She acknowledges that she has a really loud, unique laugh. She used to be embarrassed of it, but now she embraces it because it always makes other people laugh, too!