What are your thoughts? A Valentine Quiz for Readers:
How do you describe yourself?
a) Unlucky in love. Haven’t learned the lessons that can be learned.
b) There’s no such thing as luck or love.
c) Average experience with love. You win some. You lose some.
SGL Editors assume that SmartyFellas and SmartyGirls are mostly A and C. It’s a journey, right? We Editors don’t have this love thing all figured out either but here are some thought-starters we are pondering too.
|Photo Credit: Bandaid Heart Valentine Cupcake via Pinterest|
Unlucky in Love? Define favorable luck first. Explain unfavorable luck next. Give an example of each.
Luck is about recognizing what can be controlled and what freedom is given to the other. If someone left or if you chose to end a relationship, then this might be a fortunate thing. Freedom was exercised. You used your best judgment with the data you were given at the time, right? So there is no real loss. You’ve gained wisdom.
There’s no such thing as luck or love?
Define luck. Does that mean the individual believes he/she is 100% in control of every outcome? This person might be overly-controlling or have a delusional god-complex. No one gets what he/she wants 100% of the time. How does he/she imagine the partner’s role in the relationship? Is it a relationship at all if one of the two parties gets 100% of what he/she wants every time? Allergic to wheat? Too bad. Offended by the b-word at this concert? Tough for you. In this case one might be Shift and the other might be Puzzle. True, one is an ass but the other is one monkey of a nemesis in literature. If all outcomes can be controlled by one party, including thunderbolts, then this doesn’t seem to be a peer-to-peer network.
Define love. Love is about fostering the well-being and happiness of the other. If one person is forced 100% of the time to give into the other’s preferences then this is not mutual love. Kids who are socialized in public school are taught to take turns, share and wait.
If love cannot be given or received than all affection is false and a mere transaction. This leads some to pay for a love transaction. SGL Media does not support the sex trafficking industry.
Average experience with love? Define average. Describe what it means to win. Give an illustration of losing.
Average is showing as much affection as you receive. Average is accepting rejection as much as you brave making a request. Average is having a sober assessment of yourself and knowing that you are not an outlier in charisma or disenfranchised as an exile. To win might mean that you and past partners have gotten along well for a season until one or both of you chose to call it quits.
You remain friends. Real friends. This means you even recommend friends to them for dates. If love was lost because life was lost in war, an accident or natural causes, then that was bad luck, something outside the control of humans. This requires a period of mourning the loss of a love.
This Friday the 14th, we wish our friends a Happy Heart Day. Celebrate singleness and/or do an assessment on the wellness of your current relationship!